New Age Influence Test

I said "Don't touch it"! Can't you read?
Body Energy
Field Detector™

WARNING
Do not touch the
Detector while it
is operating.

Instructions

This test consists of 8 multiple choice questions. Scroll down the page and click the answer button of your choice for each question. When you reach the end, click the Results button to receive your influence rating percentage and analysis.

NOTE--The results may vary slightly each time you take the test, even if you answer the questions identically. This is most likely due to fluctuating readings from the Body Energy Field Detector ™ at the top right of the page which is continually monitoring your physical, mental and spiritual status.

1. You meet two men on the same day, both claiming to be the biblical Jesus. You conclude:: They're both lying.; One of them is lying.; They're both telling the truth; Aliens must have cloned Jesus and brought him back in their time machine.
2. For a week it seems like winter in the middle of summer. You conclude:: You'll have to delay the gardening.; Global warming has begun.; You must have accidentally slept for 6 months.; Aliens have shifted the Earth's orbit and changed the weather patterns.
3. You come home one evening to find a window open and your portable TV missing. You conclude:: You've been burgled.; A friend wanted to borrow your TV urgently but didn't have time to ring you.; Government conspirators are stealing old TVs so they will be replaced with the new ones that contain the mind-control device.; Aliens stole your TV.
4. You meet a stranger one day who seems to know all about you, he can almost read your mind. He must be:: A Microsoft salesman.; A scientologist.; A psychic.; An alien invader in human form evaluating you for abduction.
5. While gardening one day you uncover some ancient wood. It must be:: Remnants of an old BBQ.; Pieces of an old buried treasure chest.; Pieces of the true cross.; The final resting place of Noah's ark.
6. You've got a persistent dull ache in your left elbow. Do you:: Rest it for a few days.; Drink a brew of Chinese herbs.; Get acupuncture and see an iridologist.; Have psychic surgery.
7. Do you think a ouija board is:: Paper and plastic.; A party game.; A spiritual symbol.; A conduit for dangerous unknown forces that link us to another dimension inhabited by disembodied souls.
8. A light bulb bursts when you turn the light switch on. It must be:: Time to update your shopping list.; A portent of bad luck.; The bulb must have contained another defective government listening device.; A failed attempt at contact by the restless spirit of one of your dead ancestors.

Analysis:

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